We interrupt our regularly scheduled program titled “We’re so Fucked: The Tragic Story of EMFs and Human Health” to bring you something light and fluffy titled “What I’m grateful for…”
First thing I’m grateful for: bitter herbs.
Unlike the president of the United States, I’m not gonna lie. My digestion has been absolutely insane. One minute I’m bloated. The next minute I hear that gurgling sound in my belly and have to run to the restroom to poop, except it sounds like I’m peeing. Then the burning in my stomachs set in. My pants are too tight. I skip a few meals because nothing sounds good, but I’ll be damned if I’m sick – I feel fine, except for all this nonsense in my abdomen. This goes on for days. Ugh.
It’s not like I don’t have tools to deal with this kind of thing but nothing’s working! So last night, I’m soaking in the bath tub patting my puffy stomach saying, “How can I shift this situation?”
Two herbs immediately pop into my head: wormwood and globe artichoke.
OK! That sounds like a plan. These are my most favorite bitter herbs and when you put them together in sparkling water, it’s almost like a beer. Almost.
So I get out of the tub. Take a few sips of a cold Topo Chico and then add ¼ metric teaspoon of wormwood with ½ metric teaspoon globe artichoke (both MediHerb liquid extracts), and pop pop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is.
Everything settled in my digestive tract – just like that. The tide of my digestion was turning, and I went to bed with hope.
I woke up this morning with a semi-solid bowel movement and peace in my belly. I just ate a glorious dinner of salmon, cauliflower mashers, and spinach and I couldn’t be more content. I love that warm, fuzzy feeling of a meal that settles well.
It feels so good. Thank you, wormwood and globe artichoke. I am so happy to know each of you.
If you’re not aware of all the glorious benefits of bitter herbs and don’t have some in your natural medicine cabinet, then we need to talk or you can find a rundown about bitters in my book. Either way, the world needs to know what is possible with herbal medicine. These plants and how they interact with our bodies are glorious, and I am in a perpetual state of gratitude for my green friends.
Second thing I’m grateful for: a new recipe for a low-carb, high-fat berry crisp cooked in my crockpot.
I know. It’s October. Everything’s starting to taste like fucking pumpkin and cinnamon and berries aren’t seasonal. Thing is, I just don’t give a shit. While it makes zero sense to have berries and tomatoes and citrus fruits in the grocery store 24/7, there is some beauty to it so why not embrace this luxury in our modern world? Fuck it. Won’t you join me in my rebellion against seasonal eating and make this? You won’t regret it!
Low-Carb, High-Fat Berry Crisp
What you need:
- 16 ounce berries, halved
- 12 ounces raspberries
- 12 ounces blackberries
- 6 ounces blueberries
- 2 teaspoons xanthan gum
- 15 drops stevia glycerite
- 1 Tablespoon vanilla extract
- 2 cups almond flour
- 1 Tablespoon erythritol
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- Pinch of salt
- 8 Tablespoons butter, sliced into small squares
In a slow cooker, add berries and toss with xanthan gum, stevia, and vanilla. Mix the almond flour, erythritol, cinnamon, and salt together; cut in the butter as best you can. Then sprinkle over the berry mixture. If you’re in a hurry, just sprinkle the almond flour mixture on top and then place the pats of butter all over.
Cook on high for 2 hours with a paper towel under the lid to prevent condensation from dripping.
Scoop into bowls and enjoy! Excellent served with whipped cream or coconut cream or even homemade, low-carb ice cream.
Oh, and be sure to buy organic berries if they are available. I also don’t want to forget to give credit where credit is due. I adapted this recipe from a random magazine I picked up titled The Keto Diet: Slow Cooker Favorites. One last thing, if you’re used to sweet treats, this isn’t that but if you’re taste buds are evolved and you enjoy subtle flavors, go for it.
Third thing I’m grateful for: my new life without a cell phone.
You simply can’t imagine the freedom I feel. Life is so much simpler. We are so tethered to these devices. Without my cell phone, I feel my power as a human being on this planet. We hear about how distracting all of these devices are. It distracts us from our work. It distracts us from our families and relationships. It distracts kids in school. But you know what the biggie is? It fucking distracts you from yourself…that quiet place inside, your essence, that nobody can touch, the oneness – the thing that unites us. It’s much bigger in me now. Bear with me as I try to explain:
Imagine for a minute that everything you are attached to has an invisible, energetic string connecting you to it. In my life, I am attached to people, right? My husband, my son, my mother, my friends, some of my colleagues and co-workers, even my clients. I am attached to places, like my home and the things in it. I am attached to whatever book I’m reading. Ok, I think you get my drift.
Now, think about the energetic ties to your phone…
Maybe you have an app (or multiple apps) you use every day. Those are invisible strings.
Maybe you receive a lot of texts because people view phone calls as an emergency now. Those are invisible strings.
Maybe you participate in social media. More strings.
Maybe people message you through social media. More strings.
Maybe you do most of your emails from your phone. Even more strings.
Maybe you find that you can’t turn your phone off because of the anxiety you experience. Let’s call that a big-ass cord.
Maybe you even sleep with your phone. Let’s call that The Motherfucker of all cords.
When I left social media and got rid of my cell phone, I cut all these cords. I was left with myself. I was left with my uneasiness. I was left with my loneliness. Grief. Distress. Anger. Frustration. Doubt.
While this was happening, I knew I had been here before: this is what I felt when I eliminated sugar from my diet. I was lost.
In both cases, my dopamine hit was gone.
Every text I received, every heart on Instagram, every message through Facebook, was like popping a sugar cube into my mouth.
A few weeks ago, I woke up from a nightmare where I bought a new phone and reactivated my Instagram account. You know who that happens to? Addicts. Talk to any recovered addict and they will tell you that they have dreams of relapsing. When I came off of sugar, I had dreams of binging on cookies. I would wake up with this exasperated feeling thinking, “Why did I just throw all my hard work away?” Only to realize that it wasn’t real and that all was well.
You won’t fully understand your relationship to your cell phone until you go without it. This is just like food. If you want to explore your relationship to your body and food, give up the food you’re most attached to…the one you think you can’t give up. I promise you this: you will learn something profound. So it goes with the cell phone.
As I talk to people in my life about my experience, the most common thing I hear from my colleagues is: but how will people find me? I actually had one small business owner say, “Good luck with that” and walk off. To that, I say this:
They may not find you. I’ve found my peace with that. Successful businesses and good products existed long, long, long, long before social media. People will find you when you offer a good service. Word of mouth is the most powerful marketing tool there is. Just like the cell phone, we have been sold the idea that we have to have these things to succeed. I don’t buy it. There are business practices out there that make us feel like we’re working but in reality, there is little to no return. I had over 10,000 followers on Instagram. Do you know how many people contacted me after I left, not counting friends? One. Fucking one. She’s a sweet, sweet woman. That’s it. One. Social media isn’t real and it’s destroying the fabric of our society.
That said, I’m not saying that some good shit doesn’t come from it. It does. But it’s not worth our humanity and the wireless technology that’s facilitating our “need” to have a computer in our hand and be connected 24/7 is killing the fucking planet and ourselves. It is a form of pollution that nobody in the environmental movement is talking about. Most environmentalists are concerned with cow farts. Fucking spare me. There’s a big giant poisonous fart in the air alright but you can’t see it or smell it and it’s coming from the cell towers and WiFi routers and cordless phones in your home! It is physically hurting us, the wildlife and it’s damaging our souls. And we are fucking oblivious and feel powerless to do anything about it.
So yeah, I’m grateful. Grateful that I made a hard decision. Grateful that I had the guts to cut to the cord to my cell phone. Grateful that I sat in and held my pain. Grateful to feel my strength. Forever grateful to see Life in a new way.
Find something to be grateful for in peace, my friends.