The things in life that bring us joy also bring us pain. Nowhere is this more true than in intimate relationships. I still know people that believe that they won’t be happy until they are married or even better, their marriage sucks and they think kids will make it better. Good luck with that cuz wherever you go, there you are!
As I reflect on the last three years since having a child and all the changes that have transpired, these two books have helped Glenn and I traverse the rough waters. Parenting is a game changer and it’s good to have some new relationship tools in your pocket, even if kids aren’t a part of the package.
Stan Tatkin is awesome. He weaves neuroscience into attachment theory and simply brings the hard to swallow truths about relationships. One of my favorites is that when you take your vows, you might as well say, “And I take you to be my pain in the ass.” According to his work, there’s nothing more difficult than another person. Isn’t that the truth?! The romance phase is a drug-like state that won’t last forever but people chase it, like it will.
As far as the other book goes, talking more won’t solve your problems, instead you need to find a way to connect on a vibrational level. This fascinates me because the ability to connect emotionally came long before language.
Bottom line, cultivating vitality involves nurturing our intimate relationships. Stan Tatkin explains that if you aren’t tethered to one other person, then your health is negatively affected. Yep, we are tribal and need each other. Relationships can offer many levels of healing – if you’re up for the work! You won’t regret reading these two books to have a better understanding of yourself, your life and your loved ones. Really good stuff.